Several verses in the style of the old Burma-Shave roadside advertising signs.

I

Stubble scratches
Your bride’s cheek
Shave each morning
Make face sleek

II

Drive with heartthrob
Nothing sweeter
But eyes on road
Or meet St. Peter

III

Cell phone nice
To keep in touch
Use while driving
And earn a crutch

IV

He drove too fast
All ’round the bends
And missed the sign
“Warning: Road Ends”

V

Craving his miss
He gave her a kiss
Since she liked this
Car ride was bliss

VI

Ignore the blond
Now don’t you stare
Or wind up in
That ditch right there

VII

Watch the signs
Along the road
Humor may ease
Your heavy load